“Life instantly improves when you don’t blame other people and focus on what you can control.”
James Clear
There is often an inverse ratio for blame and control.
The less control I (believe I) have the more willing I am to blame others for the situation.
And the more control I feel I have (or exert) then more I take responsibility for the situation.
But feelings of control are sort of an abstraction. You always have control over something, even if you don’t feel “in control” of a situation.
- You have control over your reactions and responses to a situation.
- You have control over the actions you take moving forward.
- You have control over how you form your beliefs and what you say as a reflection of those beliefs.
And the ultimate control we have is what we choose to focus on.
If I focus on what I cannot control, then I am more likely to point fingers and put blame on others.
But if my focus is on what I can do in a given situation — if I am proactive instead of reactive — then I start to take responsibility.
I might not be responsible for what happened. But I’m responsible for what happens next.